Couples Counseling in Seattle and Washington State

If you’ve landed on this page, it may be because you and your partner have had the same argument, in different forms, more times than you can count. You walk away feeling hurt, shut down, or further apart. This often starts with something small — body language, tone of voice, someone didn’t do the dishes — but before you know it, you're back in the same cycle: silence, defensiveness, escalation, or withdrawal.

When you have tried your best to get out of these stuck cycles but they keep happening, it can be exhausting, frustrating and lonely. But here's the truth: these stuck places exist because something important is happening beneath them. The fight isn't just about what went wrong — it's about wanting to feel seen, valued, safe, and connected. 

When these conversations can be slowed down, go differently, with intention,  there is an opportunity for them to actually strengthen your relationship. If you’re here, it means you still care — even if you’re tired or unsure. And that’s where we begin.

Couples therapy is about understanding stuck patterns

In couples therapy, we don't take sides. We take the side of your relationship.

That means we help both of you step back, slow down, and begin to see what's really happening beneath the surface-level arguments. Often, it's not about who did what, but about what you're both feeling underneath—hurt, fear, or feeling misunderstood.

Together, we work to:

  • Understand your recurring conflicts and the emotions driving them

  • Learn to communicate with more safety and clarity

  • Heal emotional wounds and rebuild trust

  • Create new ways of connecting that feel nourishing, not exhausting

Our Approach: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method

We integrate two highly effective, research-backed methods of couples therapy:

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps you recognize and transform the emotional patterns that drive conflict. It emphasizes emotional safety and secure connection.

The Gottman Method draws on decades of research to support couples in managing conflict, building intimacy, and strengthening the foundations of their relationship.

These approaches aren’t about assigning blame or offering quick fixes. They are about creating space for new emotional experiences—ones that build connection, trust, and resilience.

What to Expect in Couples Counseling

Therapy begins with getting to know both of you. We’ll explore what brought you in, what’s felt difficult, and where you’re hoping to go. We talk about what good work together looks like, and what changes you want to see in your relationship.

Early sessions may include:

  • Space for each of you to share your experience

  • Identifying the recurring cycles in your relationship

  • Building a shared understanding of what’s happening beneath the surface

Over time, we work toward creating new interactions that feel safer, more emotionally connected, and more sustainable. The pace is collaborative. We check in often to make sure the work feels supportive and meaningful.

Our goal is not perfection—it’s deeper understanding, more secure connection, and a shared sense of possibility.

This Might Be for You If:

  • You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around each other

  • Conflict escalates quickly, or feels impossible to resolve

  • One of you tends to shut down, while the other pursues (and it never gets anywhere)

  • You’ve drifted apart emotionally or physically

  • Past hurts or betrayals have never really healed

  • You want to deepen your connection but don’t know how to begin

  • Or maybe, you want to strengthen a relationship that already feels solid

Whether you’ve been together for a year or decades, it is possible to change the pattern. Therapy can help you reconnect with each other—not just as problem solvers, but as partners, allies, and friends.

 FAQs

  • In such cases, there is a real benefit to individual therapy. When clients are engaged with their own therapy, they can affect change in their lives, and their relationships. So one path is beginning with your own individual work, which can shift the relational emotional field. Over time, individual growth can sometimes open up space for your partner to consider couples work. We can also approach couples therapy gently—starting with very small, safe conversations or even first sessions focused on concerns and fears about therapy itself.

  • No. We join both of you as partners in the process. The aim is to help both of you to feel seen, understood, and supported. We don’t place one person in the role of “the problem.” Rather, we explore how both of your inner dynamics, emotions, and history are contributing to the patterns you’re stuck in.

  • There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline when it comes to healing and growth in a relationship. Every couple brings a unique history, relational pattern, and emotional landscape into therapy — which means the path forward is never exactly the same.

    That said, many couples begin to notice meaningful shifts within 8 to 20 sessions. For some, a shorter-term focus on a specific issue or conflict may be enough. For others, especially when there has been deep hurt, longstanding patterns, or a breakdown in trust, the work may unfold over a longer period of time.

    In our first few sessions, we’ll get a sense of what’s happening in your relationship — where the pain points are, what’s been tried before, and what you're hoping for. From there, we can collaboratively decide on a pace and process that feels sustainable and supportive for both of you.

  • Yes! We recommend that clients are in a quiet and confidential space, with a strong WIFI signal. Turning off notifications and phones will help you to feel more focused and relaxed. As much as is possible, we encourage couples to be in the same place for their sessions.

  • Even if earlier therapy addressed behaviors or communication, it may not have gotten to the emotional core underneath. In our work together, we pay attention to that deeper emotional landscape, track patterns, and help both of you shift not just what you do, but how you relate. The fact you’re seeking again shows commitment. We can learn from what didn’t work before and do it differently now, more deliberately and collaboratively.

  • Yes. Even in times of crisis or when separation is on the table, couples therapy can play a role. Your couples counseling page speaks to “addressing negative patterns” and “wounds” to strengthen relationships. We may hold a different tone in those seasons — not always to push toward staying together, but to help you each feel heard, clarify what you need (whether to repair or part ways), and make decisions from greater emotional safety and integrity.

  • The right time often feels messy, and that’s okay. You don’t need to wait for a crisis or for things to be “bad enough.” If you catch yourself in repeated conflict loops, feeling disconnected, or simply longing for deeper connection and safety, that is a signal. So whether the pain feels acute or more subtle, if something feels stuck and you long for more, that can be the right time.

  • Repairing trust is gradual, relational work. The approaches we use (EFT, Gottman) contain helpful principles. Some of these principles are:

    1. Acknowledge and repair relational ruptures (taking responsibility, offering apology, listening deeply)

    2. Create small moments of emotional safety and consistency

    3. Learn to express needs vulnerably and receive each other’s emotional bid for connection

    4.  Practice new patterns over time — consistency matters most

    Rebuilding trust involves patience, transparency, and working to prioritize the relationship.

  • In our couples therapy sessions, we begin by collaborating with you to map out your recurring patterns and understanding how your emotional needs, vulnerabilities, and past experiences contribute to conflict. We invite both of you to speak and be heard in a structured, safe environment. Using approaches like EFT and the Gottman Method, we help you slow down harmful cycles, access underlying feelings (fear, longing, hurt), and to try new ways of responding to each other. Over time, you’ll practice more secure communication, repair ruptures, and co-create relational moves that deepen connection and trust.

Contact Us

We offer a free 15 minute consultation call for all prospective clients. If you would like to discuss Couples Counseling, please go to seattletherapyandcounseling.sessionshealth.com to schedule your consultation call directly on our calendar, up to 1 week from today. If you are unable to find an available time that works for your schedule, please contact us with the contact form, including your time preference for a call, and we will do the best we can to accommodate your schedule.